he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
