there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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