smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
