you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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