Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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