I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We have so much sex to catch up on
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
