maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
