I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
