the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
