Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
