remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Your cock deserves a montage
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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