yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize