I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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