No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize