Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I understand Curling. That high.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
