how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
