Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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