Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
