so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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