Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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