so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
