She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
