I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
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Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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