I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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