great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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