I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
