tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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