i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
