STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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