She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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