I CAN MOONWALK!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
