omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
