We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
