Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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