please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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