I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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