I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
