dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize