Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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