STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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