i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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