I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
