Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize