she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize