everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
