Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
