He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize