he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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