Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
