I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
