i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
