After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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