I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
